dream to live. live to dream.

so lately i've been having pretty insane scary dreams.
yet on most occasions when i have nightmares, i'm left slightly terrified in the morings. i do admit i'm a little weired out when i wake up, but almost chuckle at the ridiculous subconscious mesh my mind produces.

however, there was a dream i did have a couple weeks ago that was rather odd as well, but carried a completely different feeling. i vaguely remember most of it, but it makes no different because those details are trivial anyways. The part i recall quite clearly is the glowing pumpkins!!! yes a field as far as the eye can see of glowing pumpkins!

somehow i was on this farmland part of a kingdom, that was stricken by poverty and desperate to get the prince's attention, who lived over the mountain, to come save them. so the plan was, if i could get his majesty to come to the common land and get married off to him, then i could aid the people from their hungry woes. so somehow i had these seeds that i planted all through the farmers land and like magic, hundreds and hundreds of glowing pumpkins grew. they produced so much light and energy over this darken land that the royals could see the orange hue from the castle. the prince was then intrigued by the illuminating source and headed towards it quickly.

the people had then realized that those pumpkins produced energy to help bring fresh water, heat, and to cultivate the land. the prince still wanted to marry me which was a chick perk for any girl, but the entire thing was greatly mythical and yet strangely inspiring.

so then...
fast forward to a week later i go to check my email, as usually, and bombarded with advertisments all over the tops and sides, as usually, only this time one quickly catches my eye. a grey banner that read solar-aid.org 'SolarAid is a brand new charity that works with rural communities in developing countries to use solar power to fight poverty and climate change.' and i was like whaaaa?!!!?

i'm awed. what an amazing concept, and in that moment i had a flash back of my crazy dream. ironic? mmmm. well i suppose only i would make a connection like that, still this is an fantastic idea worth spreading. and this is without a doubt inspiring!
take a look to see what this organizations about:


go on there website to read more info
or become a youtube fan and keep up to date with there project video blogs.

small talk about big things. yes we did!

it has come to my attention that perhaps i'm not the only one to gaze their eyes over the words i digital scribble on here.

perhaps it reminds me of that saying, 'If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?'

and just because i don't get an indication of people reading this thing, doest mean they dont.

technology has sifted the idea of movement. at least what we usually reference it too, such as running or jumping. that idea of action.

now, i suppose there's such a thing as digital action. digital movement.

and it reminds me of the current events in politics and the use of plentiful resources we have now.
how our current president executed those wisely and for that it helped him stay in
touch and in tune with current times.

there's a small conversation that came up the day after the inauguration about bush.
his stupid face after obama's speech, left a couple of us wondering, what would be the outcome of that Tuesday, if our former president didnt royally screw up?

would there be a black man as the commander and chief, leader of this 'free' world?

i use to know this guy who was pretty damn smart. his wittiness was attractive but was shadowed by his cynical attitude. one thing i remember he told me was that 'smarts, in his opinion, was not measured by numbers and scores, but by being able to genuinely solve problems.'

i never though to associate obama with the term 'radial views', but indeed they are. everything we know, this man plans to shake up.

even the bitter republicans have taken over his side with a few smart ass remark here and there. trying to bust the after glow bubbles of this historic event. picking and just being 10year old sore losers.
but still it is what it is.

obama's views are without a doubt idealized, but he always reassures us that change is not possible if there is no movement in our part. he emphasises that he can leads us to better times if we just get up and follow the wave. he reminds us that if we are to over come, that we cant remain fearful. fearful of change and to remember that it was us, those who had never truly exercised there rights as Americans, that made it. progress. transition. history.

where ever our journey goes, it can be said with out a doubt, that we have made a mark.


lets keep it up.

nuevo.viejas

me @ old 1st apt in cali


so i was going through some old photobucket pix today. not sure exactly why and been dealing with the fact that i've been having to suffer popsicle toes because dhl has me sitting at the window like a pathetic puppie, waiting for my f*en package.
but what is a poor sap to do.
if worst comes to worst looks like i'm going to fckenin inwood nowhere really awsome ny to get a 13.5 oz box.

excuse me, but its very important
and frankly i'm just really ticked off at this entire incident.

but back to what i was saying, before the mad womens ramble,
i found some old photos and some made me smile, others made me vomit in my mouth a little (pix of the ex and I)
but most of all it made me think about that girl i was in those pictures.
i suppose the core part of looking and striving for something great hasnt changed
but who i was is not who i am now.
i mean come on, naturally theres change.
i embrace it, though coldly sometimes
i do nonetheless.

let me tell you an insider thing about writing.
just do it.
sure keeping blogs, journal, diaries, and notepads may seam
nerdy and even childish to some
but it can serve you as a number of things.

i actually find it as a humorous reference of my life (first person)
about the woes, lows, and hoes.
and of course all that great stuff pb&j-ed in between.

people will always think nothin's going on, like they're waiting for the big bam of their lives
and they're drifters.
but dont you see (as you will one day) that we are always moving
and things are always happening.
you dont have to always look past the moutain tops
just past your nose.


enjoy the view displayed in front of you

1/4x2=change!

its an understatement to say that a lot has happen since last post.

one very important thing i must say is that nov 4!!!

wow! historical! amazing! hopeful! inspiring! emotional!

that saturday i was

 working the usual nite shift and was sa

d that i was going to miss the outcome of the election but we headed into brooklyn to grab some brews to either cry into our cups or celebrate with them.

as i got off the train i immediately hear cheering and people along the street, arms up and jumping, for what sounded like something good had happen

.

is it true?! is it?! we run to the bar awkwardly with our stuff to see on the HD flat screen that our next president of the UNITED STATES IS.....

ah...aWWWWWW yes!!!!! OBAMA!!!

taylor, my roomie, was so excited in fact she made a video.

mad props!

awesome!

it was a clip of just what was going on in new york. it felt like new years eve.

people on the streets cheering and ranting. 

It was the first time i really genuinely felt proud to be AMERICAN!

people united.

& for the first time, in a long time, it was our nation celebrating the good

and not the tragic.

gba!

well, in other news the economy is still in the toilet hole from what it was before and one of the reasons my job was "letting people go" b.s. was happening.

lets just say there was a lot of kaka mouth syndrome that went on there anyways. up to the very end. 

what was a mix feeling of liberation and

 disappointment, has transfered into a great job with sundays off!!!

getting paid a bit more, awesome benefits, and located essentially closer to  home.

its kinda cool working in the MET LIFE building, perhaps cause its one of the skyscrapers that you can still see from brooklyn.

the smaller down side is working at night. i stay up late, wake up later the next day a

nd dont get to do much. yet being any type of cook, chef, restaurant related anything getting sundays off is a hard thing to pass up. but i'm in a better place now.

cupcake.random

!!!

so yet other project and love has evolved to make cupcake.random. still fairly new, but has received great feed back from many. 

ruth whose awesome, asked me to do the cmj event, to help promote my little business.

thank you for being supportive!

including taylor&sam.

thanks again.

of course my customers &

the cupcake admirers!

i dont have an official website, but i do have a myspace account where i post picture and updates! become our friend if you have an ounce of cupcake desires in your blood.

myspace.com/cupcakerandom

(will also link on this page.top right hand corner)

halloween 

good times halloween. i was broke as a joke but manage to put something together last minute. face paint is great and semi-fun. i say semi cause at one point its just a pain in the butt trying not to smear it, eat it, or get it in your eye. haa.

my theme was day of the dead. i think i did alright. i had fun anyways and met some great people at the parties.

i think despite my last minute efforts this year, i really had a appreciation for halloween & day of the dead.

most of it came from a subconscious level.

i lost an uncle that same month, and disclosing the details

is not important, but it has made my soul restless.

deaths in the past have always been a painful sting in my heart,

but this one, this time, the string remains.

maybe its the fact i'm so far away and haven't made my peace.

maybe i feel everything that happen, shouldn't have, and i wasn't there

to do anything.

its crazy how even an uncontrollable situation can still

make you feel guilty. 

its childish, but its hard when you lose some one you loved.

staytune

stay tune for new york show clips!

So as they say things happen for a reason and i hate to be the bearer of bad news but we as human beings are meant to fail. ah yes, well, we are but we don't have to like it.

this past weekend, or i should say week, has change my whole word upside down. but its okay.

i've seen the good, bad, and ugly and we have to remember that not everyone is out to get us, but dont forget that those maggots are still out there.

revenge tip toes around moral issues, but can feel devilishly comforting at times. yet i've come to learn that it is always better to be the bigger person. every time! i will never forget when my grandma told me that all the anger and hate she had for people in her life, had finally turn against her. she meant her cancer. medically the idea is far fetch, but i understood what she meant.

theres no point in harvesting such ugliness in you because what you hate will be what you will become.

and life is too awsume to always be pist!

i know i have every right to be angry at people, specially the recent situation, but

the best revenge is to move on.

amen!

unexpected events

so i thought when i was gonna call into work yesterday
that my head was gonna be on a plate.
but some reason the chef were being human & understanding.


i mean its not my fault they havent found a cure for the common
cold, right. gees. & if someone still thinks you sexy when you sound
like the love child of Fran Drescher & a character from revenge of the nerds
keep them around!

i wanted to do a little short video more for my buddy aracelis
and i guess a bit randomness


so watch & throw tomatoes if you must
but hope u enjoy:






so just in case you didnt get to see the shot
heres a better look!





mmm.dee.lish!


well it hurts like a bitch and i've been walking like i have a wooden leg!
poop!


let me tell you though the bike ride was so sweet!
and i was actually laughing while i was falling off the bike!
i was like oh shit. haaa!

and then crash!

i tell you though, there nothing like that sweet wind as you ride through brooklyn& i want this so bad now, even post crash!

friday night with sam taylor me & jewls


















so if you are in new york
and love naked women then you gotta hit up a little place off of orchard and stanton on the lower eastside. women dance and take off there clothes with a little
more taste then your average stripper.

on the left you can see this all women chick dancer
as my roomie taylor doing the 'i approve this message' pose.

good times
after words we got crepes at this place down the street
where this foreign women behind the counter
made this natella deliciousness with a separate order
sun dried tomatoes and goat cheese stuffed crepes
mmm.





so me & the roomie stand different when it comes to team miliey and team demi/selena!

so i do have to admit how i adore demi and selena and i wouldnt be a fan at heart
if i didnt tell you that her cd
dont forget
is coming out and i'm
getting it!


perez hilton has a thing for the jonie bros
and i gotta support the
young women who
are smart and talented.


i may get stonded
for being such a kid at heart
but i cant help it.






new season coming!
fall/winter in new york
that means cozy time
and more scarfs!


chrismas in new york!
get yourself over here!